There is evidence that people with a strong support network are healthier. So, how can we tell if our relationship is a healthy one? I think that there are five main areas to look at communication, respect, trust, responsibility and care.

Communication
The best way to tell if your relationship is a healthy one is by asking yourself, "How easy it is to talk to my partner, and how honest can I be with him/her?" Finding the time to talk, being as open as you can, listening to the whole message and being able to work out disagreements are all signs that you are in a healthy relationship.

Respect
A healthy relationship is one in which both partners treat each other with respect. Listening to each other's views and opinions are ways of showing respect. This includes sharing parental responsibilities, making family decisions together and mutually agreeing on a fair distribution of work.

Even in a healthy relationship arguments will happen because we all come from different family backgrounds and have different family traditions, life experience and opinions. Because we respect each other, we sort out arguments by coming to a solution that we are both happy with.

No one is right or wrong all the time, and in a healthy relationship mistakes are acknowledged and accepted.

Trust
Although trust takes time and effort to build up, it can be destroyed in an instant. Being honest with each other and being able to speak the truth without fear is a crucial part of a successful and healthy relationship.

For a relationship to be healthy, both of you need to believe in it and actively be helping to build it up.

Responsibility
Both partners need to accept responsibility. Each consider various aspects before deciding and acting, protecting each other from harm and not blaming each other when things don't go right.

Taking Care of Yourself
It is important to remember that a relationship contains two individuals, and both people will be able to take care of themselves in a healthy relationship. Each will have time and space to do the things they want to do, with the support of their partner.



In a healthy relationship the goal is for both partners to win.

Copyright Andrea Sheehy 2005. All rights reserved. Andrea Sheehy is qualified and experienecd couple and relationship counsellor. For more information about couple counselling visit her website:http://www.andrea-sheehy.com/